The Idealisticly Random Idiom

Merry Christmas One and All

2006-12-21T00:11:10Z

So I just found out something truly festive...

My Godfather has a brain tumor, and we all found out just in time for the holidays. It's really depressing because he's the father of five boys (two in their early 20's and the other three all under 10) and my favorite uncle. Uncle John.

He used to pretend to steal my baby blanket when I was little.

I guess I'm getting ahead of myself though, because the tumor is not cancerous, nor is he on his death bed.

However, upon a bit of research I have come to the conclusion that benign brain tumors can be just as deadly as malignant ones. This should be obvious though, seeing as there is a massive thingy squeezing your brain. I don't know much else, like if they will be able to remove it or if it is in an inoperable location.

I'm going to be optomistic and I'm not going to dwell on it because this obviously will solve nothing. My uncle Dennis was able to survive and recover from a bout with cancer, maybe my uncle John will have the same luck.

Anyway, I'm off to sulk and be emo, if only just to get it out of my system. I'll do the real grieving when I have a reason to.

Someone Really Dislikes Me to the Extreme

2006-12-14T05:35:34Z

I had a whole witty and entertaining entry all ready and then I had to go and accidentally delete it because it WOULD NOT LOAD!!!

ARRRGGG!

The userpic is my eye. Isn't it amazing? I think so. Woot.

Moving on, I had a whole situation earlier in which my viewing of the program America's Next Top Model was obstructed because my dad chose to fall asleep and snore in front of the only TV in the house while watching some science show. Then, conveniently the moment Top Model ended, my dad walked past my room and said "It's all yours, I feel like I'm about to fall asleep."

I replied "Gee, what gave you that idea?" And then I blogged about it. And, of course, it got deleted. -ultra super bitter power!-

But really I only watch the show in the first place under the influence of others. Which makes me wish I was my own person, because then I wouldn't need my weekly Tyra fix. You probably see her picture 20,000 times in any given Top Model episode. To say she's narsissistic is pretty much like saying Antarctica is breezy.

Now I shall have to wait till next week to mock her.

But at least I'll be going to Arizona the day after tomorrow (oh dear, a movie reference). The abundance of TVs, warmer weather, and general greater activity yeild will be a welcomed change from the monotony of Oregon. I've pretty much done nothing since Friday except sleep (the first two days yielded about 27 hours of sleep as I had been quite deprived before hand) and watching TV.

The only thing even remotely interesting (but mostly annoying by this point) thing in Salem is the crap load of geese that chill in the lake thing behind our building every right. The down side to these south-bound visitors? They pretty much squawk and whatever geese do all night long without stopping... then make a big spurt of noise at day break when they take off. It's super cool to be woken up everyday at day break.

You might be wondering about the picture I have featured here. It was taken at the last meal (among friends) that I had in San Diego at Island's restaurant roughly in late June of 06'. It was very tasty. Shortly after it was taken I went to see Superman Returns with Ariane in which I pondered the quote "a father becomes a son and a son becomes a father" to within an inch of my like because it DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE! No amount of explanation will change that fact. It was a movie full of really odd one-liners and that's really all there is to say about it.

So yeah. Right now I've run out of things to talk about. So I'll just entertain you all with a couple necessities via Natalie Dee and Drew. Enjoy.

nataliedee.com

And...

toothpastefordinner.com

Thanks to Vickie, I will soon have both of these on t-shirts.

And the lord did say, "Let there be awesome t-shirts and let the wearers of said awesome t-shirts dance because they are awesome and must bask in the awesomeness of each other." (This, of course, is subject to editing and over all disregard for facts in general, but the point is basically the same.)

Well, love and whatnot,

Lindsay

I'm A Blogging Fiend; Feed the Habbit.

2006-12-07T10:48:24Z

Well, okay.

So it was... um, Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday. A day when dreams come true, a day when, in general, really, really weird and messed up shit happens.

I had pulled at all-nighter (up till 6AM) writing an eight-page paper and helping a friend deal with a personal crisis (and I shan't neglect to mention the hour long internet surfing break I took in the middle) and then I got up at around 9 ish to turn my paper in by 10...

So yeah... blah blah blah, I was tired.

Don't really remember what happened after that for a while... wait, what happened then?

Well, seeing as I really can't remember.. I'll just move on to-

Oh yes, I updated myspace and facebook for a freakishly long time. That's what I did. Lol. Wow.

Instead of getting more sleep, mind you.

Then I talked to Vickie and I realized that I was pretty much starving because I'd only had one coffee and a bowl of granola in skim milk to eat all day.

So I set off in pursuit of food. Two hours later I was sitting in an Applebee's with Liz (we had decided to go off campus for Mexican, but ended up on the bus that went to the mall instead... we embraced the change). Well, all of a sudden this magician dude pops up and he did crazy shit with cards and foam rabbits (like randomly making four appear in my hand...) It was freaking amazing, especially since I was really hyped up on caffeine by this point (Liz was too as she had been up till 6AM with me).

Then we had cheap, but amazingly good because we'd been deprived of it for so long, steak. And apple pie a la mode... It was incredible.

Then we went into the mall and wandered around Sears for a while (because it was the closes of the stores and we were freezing cold). We almost got hit by cars trying to navigate the parking lot. Hahaha.

Then, on our way to Target to get Chocolat (the movie with the oh so yummy Johnny Depp), we stopped in Spencer's... I was minding my own business, looking at something when Liz says she found the perfect Christmas gift for me.

I asked if she wanted to show me and this was where the fatal mistake was made.

She said yes.

Soon I found myself before a large display of cheap dildos.

Yes, and she was telling me to pick one out, just jokingly (for the most part.. I think).

Then Kevin showed up.

Kevin is probably the most masculine man ever to work at Spencer's gifts. To top it all off, he was wearing a wife beater.

He asked us if we needed any help then pointed out our faces were red. Then Liz asked him which one he would suggest and he pointed out this purple water proof deally saying is girl friend loooved it.

And then he said I looked like I was "about to pop".

So I suggested to Liz that we send one anonymously to a friend for Christmas and we steadily started ignoring Kevin who, after hovering next to us pretending to be apart of our conversation for a very uncomfortable amount of time, finally took the hint and left us.

We think he had some sick pleasure in what he did.

Luckily, we made it out of the store without running into Kevin again.

After that, we got to Target, bought Chocolat (both the movie and the tasty substance) and went back to our dorm in time to see the Victoria Secret fashion show.

Then we watched Chocolat (and ate chocolate) and it was awesome because the movie is amazing.

Yeah, yesterday I woke up later than I had intended, studied for and then went to my final final (as in the last one I have to do this term so I am not technically done!!!). Then Leesa, Whitney and I went back to the mall (a different one) because we had planned the day before to go to Victoria's Secret (I also had a coupon for a free tiny vial of perfume valued at $15 which is pretty cool)... We went, then we came back...

And then Leesa and I decided to see a movie. We chose Mean Girls because she had never seen it before. Liz supposed to join us for both the mall and the movie, but bailed both times (more like just didn't show up at all for the movie).

Then we found Liz again, for about three seconds before me and Leesa decided to wander around campus for a while (at this point in time it was after 1am)... We saw raccoons, but they did not attack us violently as some raccoons have been known to.

And now I am here, blogging, because I'm chill like that.

All in all, I've had a pretty awesome past couple days.

Except for the part when I had to do school related stuff.

Today I have to work, which blows...

I also have to work Friday... and go home.

Poop. But it's okay because it's almost Christmas and almost time for me to go to Arizona and San Diego.

And that, my friends, is where it's at.

Love for freaking ever,

Lindsay

Home sick!

2006-11-29T06:12:08Z

I miss San Diego!

I also regret having eaten only carbs today. That was a mistake.

I now feel quite ill.

Ugh.

Anyway, I'm sitting alone right now because my roommate and her friends are off having cake because they hadn't eaten all carbs and aren't feeling sick and probably couldn't care less that I'm not there.

Fucking pity parties.

Anyway, Arizona, San Diego... I can't wait.

Just no more Oregon right now.

Bleh.

I guess I'm home sick.

And I'm also very tried... which probably has a bigger hand in all of this than anything else.

Shocking, Just Shocking.

2006-11-18T05:12:13Z

I have some rather shocking news to report...

It seems that, in the process of taking ungodly amounts of pictures of myself, I have made a horrific discovery!!!

When I smile, I either look like I'm about to tear someone's throat out with my teeth in a psychopathic rage, or I'm snarling... While they do make for interesting conversation pieces, the news is still somewhat unsettling...

To me especially, who is to a slight degree impossibly narcissistic (hence the thousands of self-portraits I have taken over the years...^.^;;)

Anyway, in other news I went to Target all by my lonesome today (I did see the Gilmore Girls dvds... but I did not get them...). I accidentally got on the wrong bus and had to circle around the route, which added about a half an hour to my trip. Fun times. Plus, I probably looked really stupid, but these things happen -a lot. Eventually though, I made it to my destination and I purchased some gloves, two shirts, (much needed) printer paper, new mascara (as opposed to used, I guess), and It's a Wonderful Life (because, quite frankly, we all need an annoying little man to show us what life would be life if we died when we were young), and a magazine (because I needed something to read while I waited for the bus).

Then I talked to Vickie, who was bored or something, I suppose. And she told me a wonderful story about seeing a boy on a scooter at her school. Of course, this was no ordinary scooter (and apparently, no ordinary boy), for it was pulled by two dogs. That's ingenuity for you... or something. Anyway, I'm very tempted to recreate the image in my favorite medium: mechanical pencil on printer paper.

On the bus back, the driver had a guitar. He played a few bars for us, which was amusing. He was good.

Then I got back to my dorm and frolicked around, because I do stuff like that. And I ended up taking pictures (thus sparking the aforementioned shocking discovery). And then I had to blog because, well, come on... I just kinda had to at that point.

Oh, I considered going to the gym... but that ship has long since sailed... it's already 9pm anyway. Maybe tomorrow, but more likely on Sunday (when I don't have five hours of work...).

Well... I've exceeded my triple period limit for the day, so I'll just have to call it quits here.

Good god am I witty today.

<3

Lindsay

Out of Emo Land and Boardering Procrastination

2006-11-16T05:30:04Z

Yo.

I have a 2-3 page Soc essay due tomorrow. So far I have found my topic and printed out the rubric. I'm on a freaking role, man.

I'm also insanely hyper from just having inhailed a "Whammy" or a mixed bit of ice cream from my place of employment... It was vanilla with blackberries and M&M's... It was glorious...

I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning! Yes! (also cheer because my 9am class was cancelled!!!)

I have been eating a lot lately... Ice cream, scones, lots and lots of scones... and muffins... bread bowls, thick soups...

I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning.. getting up early and all that jazz. It will be... eh.

Whatever. Moving on...

I have decided that I like really long bus rides through the countryside. Espeically when I get to listen to good music. It's probably my favorite thing ever. So I got to do my favorite thing ever today and yesterday for about an hour and a half each, riding to and from Salem. It was very nice.

And then I got to spend some time with my kitty, which is always good. He was extra affectionate because he had been all alone for a week and a half. But he was okay.

Meh. Okay, I'm going to work on the stupid essay now.

Anyway,

tata

-Lindsay

PS. I ate too much ice cream and now feel sick. Plus, I look like crap right now, wee!

Oh great... It's a little too emo in here.

2006-11-13T21:00:06Z

Have you ever gotten that feeling that the world just suddenly decided to flip, just to throw you off course?

Because that pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

I have been in college for almost two months and I can count "close" friends I've made her on one hand and have most of my fingers left over. I have a few just casual friends, but only a few.

It's like I've completely forgotten how to from relationships with people. I just can't do it, I don't know how!

And it's not only that, but most of the people here I find myself not wanting much to do with. A lot of them just remind me of people I left behind at high school, which I suppose should make sense...

But anyway, I haven't found anyone I can relate with on common grounds. No one.

Which is hard.

Plus, I can't even rely on my roommate, whom I have known since I was fourteen, to confide stuff in. She always seems to know better than I do, and feeds me the obvious answer to my problems.

Example:

Me: "I have trouble relating with other people."

Liz: "You should try hanging out with them more."

Great, except for one little problem; If I can't relate to them, hanging out morphs in to me lingering uncomfortably around people who only tolerate my presence because they are too nice to ditch me.

Fun times.

And I don't mean to say that it is her responsibility to solve my problems. It is just that, if I rant about it to her, she can't really understand where I'm coming from, seeing as she is Miss Social and knows pretty much everyone. Ever. At all.

All of my good friends are hundreds of miles away. And the family member I am closet with lives the farthest away (basically on the other side of the country). Actually, it seems that the family I dislike the most is closer, then the next is the next closest, and so on and so forth.

Sweet deal.

And on top of my social dilemma, my grades are slipping and I'm finding myself become more and more introverted everyday.

Basically I'm in a downward spiral. It's really, really stupid. I just don't know what to do.

I've been seriously considering going to the counseling office on campus. I've been seriously considering asking for some sort of depression medication.

I've been seriously considering a lot of things.

I've become so apathetic about life in general. Which, I realize, isn't so good.

Because I used to be incredibly fond of it, and still can be sometimes... just not all the time. Just not a lot of the time.

And I'm totally going to be like, "Dude, I was just having a weird moment," later when I read this. And I'll try to pass it off as nothing... but I shouldn't have to feel like this at all. The fact that I do bothers me so much because it just makes everything so much harder.

I really don't think it's fair.

Especially since by the time I get up the nerve to try to do anything about it, I'll be feeling better and will feel really stupid about it. It's like, I've got two personalities sharing one mind, one person, one life. Bleh.

Something isn't right. I know that much at least.

And this concludes Lindsay's depressing rant of the day.

Well... the word "crap" comes to mind.

2006-11-06T06:45:33Z

I have two papers due tomorrow. As of right now, each of them are about two paragraphs in length. They are both supposed to be about three pages.

I should be working on them right now.

So why aren't I?

The answer is simple: I need to get my creative juices flowing. Right now the creativity is coming out in a slow, dying drizzle. That just isn't working for me.

Plus, I can feel the slow and steady grip of stress tightening around my throat. It hasn't hit full blast yet, but I can tell it's only a matter of time before I'm in panic city and I end up repeating the same concept in about twenty different ways for the remainder of the papers. It will probably end up being the same concept for both papers... which really wouldn't be good because one is a critique of A Midsummer Night's Dream and the other is a critical essay about how MTV is "new media".

I really don't think the two topics go together so well.

All I know right now is that I am really, really tempted to join the Fans of Toast Community. At this point in my life, I need a sense of belonging.

I went to my Dad's house yesterday. That was... fun.

If you consider "fun" being a two hour car ride in traffic with a road rager who blames the traffic jam on you. Yeah, it was ultra "fun". After the spiftastic car ride, we went out to dinner at a place where people rarely eat, my dad's country club. That was riveting as the entire time we were rushing to make it on time to a movie that turned out to not be so good. My dad was utterly pissed about spending $9 a ticket to see it. Running with Scissors is a great book, but it does not translate well to film.

Bleh, I'm bored with the details of the visit. Just know that I got a nice Venus razor (with a bunch of refils), toothpaste, and pack of some much-needed tampons. I also bought some sleeping pills, but those got left in the bag with my dad's flax seed.

I kind of want to go to bed, but that wouldn't be so good for my essays' progress. Unless I could write them in my sleep. Oh dude, that would be awesome. Especially if I randomly was smarter in my sleep than I am when I'm awake. That would make sense, because I think the deeper we go into our subconsciousness, the smarter we get. Because we are more centralized in our pure minds.

Actually, given my dreams, I'm probably more centralized in my psychosis... but still, that would make for one interesting paper.

Okay, I'm off to frolic in the fruits of my procrastination!

Ta!

<3

Lindsay

The World Turns Without Serious Opposition

2006-11-04T00:09:22Z

Hello.

So I'm kind of drifting through life right now, trying to find that creative nitch that is so necessary to my very existence. And whatnot.

Thus far it seems that I am limited to doodling over everything.. and blogs.

Huzzah.

Not to say that blogs aren't amazing things...

See? Do you see how I have to please everyone? I think it's a character flaw, but other people tell me I'm too down on myself as it is and I should just do what they tell me; suck it up. Unfortunately, I'm having way too much fun playing the tragic heroin. So, to keep to character, woe is me. My life is a bottomless abyss of depressing...ness.

God, I want to go to Target.

I have a gift card to spend there... $30 just sitting there... unspent. It's a travesty.

I also want to see Running With Scissors... I just read the book. It was incredible. I can't believe that was actually someone's life. It was amazing and so, so bizarrely disturbing. I can't wait to see it on screen. Dear god.

It really makes you feel normal... or if you can relate, just well... I'm sorry.

I highly suggest the book, especially since I have the primal desire to discuss it with somebody.

Okay, well I've been sitting here in my work clothes for quite some time, (the fabulous billowing red shirt, black baseball cap, and old jeans) so I'm going to have to change somethings.

Super mega love,

Lindsay

Oh dear...

2006-09-05T01:08:46Z

I haven't a clue what I am doing... Everything is soooo new and confusing! URG!
Oh well. Soon I will find friend(s), but for now I shall be the friendless loser. But I shall be a cool loser. As such is my contradictory glory!!!! Muahahaha!

I really, really want to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, like none other. Ohhh man. I just bought the DVD and it comes with 24 extra bonus seconds!!! OMGWTF!!!! My guess, they just tacked it on the end... super exciting.

I wonder, what is the longest anybody just stayed staring at the screen? I have thought about this a lot, but find myself no closer to an answer... mostly because I haven't really asked a lot of people just yet. Or at all. But that's just how I roll.

I have decided that I would love to make a film. I haven't the faintest idea as to what my film would be about, but I imagine it might have the same flow as one of my jouranl entries (take this one, for example). It would be amazing. Oh yes. Fo sho.

Hmmm... I am going to have to start packing up my stuff soon. Since this is my first journal entry, I should probably mention that I have been visiting my mom for the past two months... and I have aquired a large quantity of stuff via her paycheck. (:D) Anyway, I now have to figure out how to pack it all/ if I can pack it all. It is sure to be insanity in the form of packing. The most insane kind of insanity there is.

Good news everyone! I've got some bad news!

-My father is going to kill me... and my shoes.

Goodbye for now, I shall return when you least expect it and you shall be pissed off.

<3 Lindsay